final thoughts, reflections, quotes, lyrics, and rantings.

i just wrote my support thank you letter...it's a rough copy, and 3.5 pages. i tried really hard to keep it short, and i referred them to check out the blog more than once. i've been packing and cleaning all day, but after a week in FL, hanging by the beach and walking around Disney, i have most all the summer processed with a few thoughts and such...

*God continued ruining my life this summer...if you haven't experienced a life ruining yet, just wait, it's coming. and it may be hard...no, it will be REALLY hard, but if you put your trust in HIM, a ruined life is a beautiful thing.

*God works everything out...every little detail of everything. so many times i saw God in the tiny details, putting groups at certain sites, putting specific people at certain sites, speaking through people. even small bits of encouragement that may not have been meant to be an encouragement, but God used it in a mighty way. just reminds me of the feeding of the 5,000...using some saltines and sardines...and Jesus, can work it out, Jesus, can work it, work... :)

*you can't love people unless you love God first.

*everyone is prejudice. no one is exempt. because we all feel superiour to other people, and can find some fault in someone else that makes us judge them and elevate ourselves. whether it is because of the color of their skin, or that they have a mental disability. we label people and judge people like it's our job. and i am preaching to myself. i am sinning every time i judge someone and do not show them love. this summer God woke me up. a speaker named Larry had a sign from a homeless man that said i love Jesus as much as the person i love the least. ouch.

*loving my neighbor as myself does not mean that i give my old pair of Nike's away and go buy a new pair for myself. i love my neighbor as much as i love my old pair of Nike's. if i really loved my neighbor as myself, i would give them a new pair of Nike's....not saying that i need to go buy a new pair of Nike's for everyone (i wouldn't buy Nike because they use slave labor, but that is another blog), it would be niice, but i need to examine my reasons...my motives.

*i'm still working on the suburban church. we talked about the Beatitudes...blessed the poor in spirit. suburban church could be characterized as the poor in spirit...so Jesus calls us to help the poor. so do we help the 'financially' poor or the 'spiritually' poor? in our early sessions with mike bowling we talked about how he thought it would be difficult to preach in the suburban church, because they pain and brokenness are hidden in a nice looking package of a person, but in the city, everything is out in the open, the broken and hurting know they are broken and hurting...that is partly why i 'like' the urban church more, why i struggle with the suburban church...but it doesn't mean i should run from the Burbs. we wrestled with this alot in our debriefing times, and it was hard because i don't want to run, but at the same time my heart breaks for the city and feel God molding my heart and i want to be there, but, again, check my motives...is it because i feel God calling or because i want to be there...then someone said that it was good we were wrestling with the question, but it's about where God called you and what place He put in your heart....i think it's the city...but the burbs still need help...

*i love the other interns. they are my family. i never thought i would become so close with people so quickly. God work it out...and not only did we learn about community, but we became a community. they are some of the most amazing and gifted people i know.

quotes:

"you know you are a servant, when you are treated like one." -ann or elizabeth

"i love Jesus as much as the person i love the least" -larry
"it's not that i think less of myserlf, but that i think of myself less and that feels like Heaven to me" -larry

"the real you showing up, meeting real needs, in the right way, for the right reasons" -chip ingram
"Jesus' mission: comfort the distrubed and disturb the comfortable"

"living to love means giving up all you have for love" -wk. 3 speaker

"every drug dealer and prostitute knows Jesus and can tell you about Him, but they don't know Him" -jim

"love people and use things- not us people and love things" -jim

"justice is found when we find Christ, can't be found until we find Christ" -jay height

"i have to bear burdens of peole i don't like...i can pick and choose whose burdens i want to bear"- jay height

"when we follow Jesus we have to acknoledge that it will cost something" -wk 4 speaker.

"if we want to put the poor at the heart of the church, sometimes we just have to literally get on with it and invite them in. Our wealth can sometimes feel like a barrier...God calls us all to be obedient to his word -to care for the poor- it's a responsibility that none of us can shake off. if i spend my whole time feeling guilty at not having moved to Calcutta, i ignore the opportunities that i have around me living in london...like the words Micah gives in 6:8, we need to get active with our mercy -to love it, but not passively from the sidelines. the way we show that we love mercry should result in lives being transformed and nothing less." Art of Compassion -Tim Hughes

"the point of the gospel is not that we love the 'good people' and hate the 'bad people,' but that we love as God loves, inclusively, extravagantly...the fear deep within us rebels as such love, balks at such indiscriminate grace, recoils at such wholesle forgiveness. such love appears to cut across the grain of our soulds, appears to rip out our ver core. such love refuses to take sides, refuses to play the power games, refuses to simplistically see on class of people as 'good' and the others as 'evil.' such love, we come to see, is no the syrupy sentiment, but the hard work of self-sacrificially fiving for the true good of another, who desperatly needs to be loved. the forces of hatred cannot be conquered by yet more hate. the revelliousprincipalities and powere will not be undone by us tring to play their game. victory comes only through love." -lee camp

i could go on for pages...make sure you check out the books below.

check this poem out: Light in the Asphalt Jungle

http://www.unoh.org/light-in-the-asphalt-jungle

books to check out:

from brokenness to community -jean vanier

mere discipleship -lee camp

the art of compassion -20 christian musicians (i'm almost done with this one, so GOOD!)

irresistible revolution -shane claiborne

compassion, justice, and the christian life -bob lupton

a heart for the city -john fuder

i'm going to work on:
the careless society -john mcknight

Jesus and Community -gerhard lofink

plus a long list more...

songs:
God of the city -chris tomlin

greater things have yet to come, greater things are still to be done in this city...

God of justice -tim hughes

we must go, live to feed the hungry, stand behind the broken, stepping forward, keep us from just singing, move us into action...

beautiful feet -lecrae

In Luke 4:16 on down to 21/ Jesus says he's messiah, says he's the chosen one/ But more than that he quotes Isaiah/ That shows our Savior targets oppressed, captive, blind and the broke I'm saying/ Had a heart for the poor had a heart for the low/ And 1st John 2:6 is way we should go

Scripture:

the Psalms (especially 1-14, 46)

Ezk. 16:49
Hab 1:5

Zech. 4:6, 7:9

Micah 6:8

Matt. 25

Acts 2:42-47; 4:32-35

Romans 12:9-13; 15:4-7

Philippians

James (2:1-5)

1 John

i could write more, but its almost 2:30AM and i'm getting some ice cream and going to bed. please ask me about the summer. i know a wrote a novel and it seems like i wrote down EVERYTHING, but there is more, and i would love to talk and hear responses...i LOVE coffee and chai. :]

peace.

...you hold the truth that saves so run and shout it to the world /They can't believe in something they ain't never heard /Go, go, go and run with those beautiful feet -lecrae

for MI video's done by the AMAZING jenna: http://missionindy.blogspot.com/

http://www.missionindy.com/

the final week...

so, i was just going to cease to write more of the blog...but my dad said it would be good to refer people to in my support thank you letters...so i thought i'd give a little update.

DAMAR week: MI week 4.
so crazy. it needs it's own post.
the prep week before DAMAR was busy; getting alternate crafts ready, taking inventory of the summer...we made intern gifts the WHOLE day Friday, which was quite fun, but tiring. and. I RAN 5 MILES!!!!!!! i made my goal of running 5 miles by the end of the summer a week early. 54 minutes. i could not have done it without my dear running buddy, andrew. :].

i'll be honest that i didn't have the best attitute about DAMAR the whole week and it got worse over the weekend. DAMAR is a facility for mentally retarded kids. it is a really nice facility and they do a good job of making it not seem like an institution...so, going into Sunday night, i was praying HARD for an attitude change, and asking others to pray for me to. we met our group saturday and they were AMAZING. a few of the girls knew about sex trafficking and we were able to chat about it, and i was SO encouraged by bethany's passion. it seems that everytime i get discouraged about wanting to work with trafficking victims, God always brings me some kind of encouragement. it was so cool.

well, after our orientation day monday, i got that attitude change i was praying for. all the kids needed so much love. some didn't have families, many have been abused, physically and sexually, and had horrible things done to them. we went on a tour of the facility and met some of the kids we would be working wtih (13-18 boys and girls- 2 seperate groups). one boy didn't want to come to VBS. the lady in charge then told me it was because he had participated in an exorcism where someone stuck their fist down his throat and beat him to try to beat the autism out of him....how would someone do this?! i was seriously speechless over this...how? why? ...and i am supposed to love my enemies. mmm...

i was ready heading into tuesday. meg and andrew and i prayed that night. tuesday. in all my time at mission indy, i never wanted to quit...after this day, oh, i was struggling bad. to avoid bashing on DAMAR and ranting on for a few paragraphs, let's just say, our schedule got switched and it was chaotic and stressful. but praise the Lord for the interns. at our debrief, they all sat and listened to me gush about the day and then each one prayed over meg, andrew, and i. it was so encouraging and i was so thankful. i prayed alot this week.

wednesday ended up going really well. meg, andrew, and i went out with our group to jimmy john's which was delicous and south bend chocolate ice cream followed! :] God worked it out that night. andrew ended up coming to sit with me and two other girls from our group when we got to talking about politics and one of the girls said very negative things about homosexuals...not seeing them as people, creations of God. oh, i had to watch my tounge and hold myself back a few times, but we ended up having a really great conversation with her and God gave us both words to say.

thursday was hectic again...and i started writing my VBS evaluation of the summer, which took up all the free time i had. we did tie-dye as the craft, so we had to leave early...it was just go, go, go from wednesday night until thursday night. i was worn and stressed...the DAMAR kids came on thursday night to dinner and worship. it was great to be able to just hang with them and not worry about anything...one of the boys was an amazing dancer and walked it out to Lecrae. they all went to the front during worship and danced. it was beautiful. then one of my favorite guys told me i could come to his band practice and i started crying...because, i won't ever be going to his band practice. i won't see him anymore. oh, this is where i struggle so much sometimes. is it worth it to be there for a week, when you won't see the kids again...are we just more people who walk in and out of their lives? andrew says that we are planting the seed...and i get that. at least for a week they were hoepfully shown the love of Christ, but it's still hard.

by friday, i was ready to be done. i told the group that we would get starbucks on friday since they did an AMAZING job. my motivation became starbucks...so i kept having to remind myself to do everything for Christ, to show Christ's love to the kids... the debrief was great. it was amazing to see how much the group changed from the beginning of the week, and they changed because of the DAMAR kids. it was so cool...so encouraging.

it took me over a week to process...im still working on it...and to see the good that came out of DAMAR week, because honestly, i struggled so much. God worked it out. i sang the song...'Jesus can work it out, Jesus can work it, work it' He was present in every area...from the people in the group, to the kids we got to work with....even in the chaos. i let the tears flow during our debrief time...our final one. oh, i miss my new family so much.

there is more to come...final thoughts on MI and how God ruined my life.

peace.

to comfort the disturbed and disturb the comfortable...

wah! what a week we had a Mission iNDY....it was probably the most tiring, challenging, stressful, and fun week we have had yet.

the coolest thing: our theme for the summer is Live to Love, all about community. after the first few hours we were there...youth groups we mingling. so COOL. the previous weeks we were talking about how we would have a night where kids had to sit with people from other youth groups. last MI week we had to challenge the kids to break out of their youth group...but after the first few hours they were already breaking out. this week was such an amazing display of community...displaying our devotionals (carrying burdens, accepting one another, honoring others, sharing with others, and serving). it was such an encouragement...it seems like this group "got it" this week.

monday: got up and ran 2+miles. at 5:30AM. vbs planning went really well and the pastor of the church took us on a neighborhood tour so we could see the community that the kids come from. this was the first time we have done it, and i loved it.
the first day of VBS (tuesday) was great. we had 100+ kids each day, which was a total change from the previous 2 weeks,, only having 25-30max. i actually really enjoyed the busy change of pace. i was running around like crazy...sitting for at most 5 minutes, but i was able to see each age group (k-teen club) and getting to know some of them. the worksite was great too. we weeded a jungle of a yard the whole week. our youth group was AMAZING! after tuesday though, i brought up my struggle with whether or not i needed to ask certain questions to the groups in order to bring up a discussion on poverty....the response was wait for God. so i did.

the next day (wednesday-- stressfull VBS day, but still great) ron suggested we take a neighborhood tour/walk-around by our worksite and discuss what the kids saw and such. WOW. did God show up. i took 3 gals...maybe not the ones you would think would know alot about poverty...but ah. it was so good. we talked about the difference between homeownership and renting...why people would want to stay in prision...do you give money to homeless people on the street and if not, what could you do instead...what it means to love your neighbor as yourself --not giving away your old shoes to go buy new ones, but buying new ones for your neighbor. ah. kelsey had said the night before that we sometimes underestimate what jr. high kids know, and i had done that too. but i asked the question and they responded and it was an amazing conversation. one of the highlights of the week.

after i got back there was a man riding his bike and he came over and asked what we were doing...did we fix up old houses and sell them because he needed a house by the 1st. we got to talking and found out he had a wife and 2 kids, had moved in with a couple but got kicked out and his fam. was able to stay at the house but he slept on the street riding his bike looking for a house. i was able to tell him about some places we worked with and he didn't want to go to a shelter. i asked him if i could pray for him...he said he wouldn't say yes, but he wouldn't say no....he also said he never stopped to talk to people either. it was so cool to know that God had made him stop for a reason, even if it was just to have someone to talk too for a bit. he came by the next day to say hello as well...

wednesday was just an emotionally draining day. we found out that one of the girls in one of the VBS youth groups mom had died suddenly. another God thing that we were able to be there for them and pray together and be a comfort to the youth group. it was so hard to hear and see the kids sobbing...but so encouraging to hear what some kids had to say about the mother and as a comfort to their friends...
the cool thing about what happened with the death is how God brought everyone together. two youth groups did VBS this week and they also shared rooms. when the interns walked around to sing the groups goodnight, we walked into that room and ALL the girls were bawling. the group had shared what happened with the other groups and all the girls lost it. the cool thing is that the girls were able to carry each others burdens, accept one other, share together, they had an opportunity to honor one other and in doing that, serve one another. AAAHHH. SO COOL. visible display of community, of our theme...God's hand was in everything this week....

thursday morning was hard. girls were still torn up, which got all the VBS interns not feeling so great, thursdays are usually a rough day too. so i just went off by myself to read my Psalm. God again...i read Psalm 46 which was God speaking words of comfort to us all...and i was reading, joe left the room and said, the God of peace will soon crush satan (from Spring Up, O Well). bah. i about lost it. so i drove OLGA that day...or at least i tried, because the brakes and power steering went out. i barely made it to a parking lot, and the one i pull into. STARBUCKS. God was watching over me because i ordered a tall and the guy made extra so i got a grande. :]
VBS ended up going well...as did the worksite! speaker for the night. AH. so great. such great urban ministry that he is part of. such encouragement.
...
every drug dealer, prostitute, and gang member knows about Jesus and could tell you how you can know Him...but do they know Him?
...

friday was another 5:30 morning...we had a surprise of 25 teen club kids that we had not had all week. it ended up working out perfect...and nick rocked out the lesson. the lesson for the day was the Good Samaritan and God used him in such a cool way. he has worked with the Hawthorne kids all summer and was able to make the story relevant to them, but also keep the message. i was SO glad when VBS was over. the pastor at the church brought in a speaker/neighborhood resident thursday/friday which was so cool.
the worksite. i was really tired and having a bad attitude. but God worked it again and we had a little competition and were able to get 90% of the project done!

looking back on the week...man, it was hard. but good. it seemed every bad/stressfull thing that came up, God brought something to make it better, to show why the bad/stressfull stuff happened. looking back, i can see His hand in everything!

so. my days at the Care Center are over and i have lots of prep and clean-up for next week at DAMAR...which i do not have the best attitude about. But i know God has something sweet planned. just a week and a half left of MI. :'(

the florida.

another long novel... :]
psalm 46:
God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble....

how do we help people?

a few questions i had today at the care center:

*how do we really help people??

*do programs help or enable people? take the care center: women are in the program for either 30 days, 6 months-1 year, and some 18 months. how are we helping them in that time? they go to Bible study, do work around the center, and go to addictions classes and healthy relationship classes, but what are we really doing to help them? in some programs they get job training and try to find a job, but for some people, it can be 6-12 months of no job, and then when their time is up, they are expected to find a job. i was talking to a case worker today and she said how alot of the ladies come in and out of the program and how 6 months to a year is too long to be in a program, which leads back to my question...how are we helping these women? i'll be honest...i want a concrete answer, but i don't think there is one.

*how do you help people who don't want to help themselves? a lady came in today. a user for years. came to the shelter in '03, hasn't had a stable home since then and only wants to stay for 5 days until her BF gets a check to buy a house. clearly, i can see that this woman needs help. but she doesn't see it. so, i just pray for her and be Jesus to her for 5 days and then send her off...hmmm.is it enough?? God can use that 5 days in any way, and we can plant the seed...it just doesn't seem like enough....

like andrew says...we forget that we are not the ones who save people, God is the one who saves them. and then i think of the emery song, listening to freddie mercury, [[we are all the same people/ with sinning hearts that make us equal/ here is my hand, not words said desperately/ it's not our job to make anyone believe]]

i'm struggling with bridging the gap between what i am learning here and my own views and ideas about helping others and what i learn at school about helping people and 'how to be a social worker.' it's tough business....

some will seek forgiveness, others escape...

one of the best underOATH songs ever...amazing lyrics.

[[oh sweet angel of mercy/ with your grace like the morning/ wrap your loving arms around me/ hey unfaithful i will teach you/ to be stronger, to be stronger/ hey ungraceful I will teach you/ to forgive one another/ hey unloving, I will love you]]

anyways, another week of mission indy is done. i'm quite sad because we only have 4 weeks left total. the summer is just flying by....and the day after MI is over, i'm heading out to naples for a week! :] i'm ready for the beach. below are some thoughts from the week, things i'm still processing...

the week started off with a discussion on whether savings accounts are biblical on sunday morning after sunday school. someone said that if we actually live in community with one another and look out for one another, then there would be no need for savings accounts because whenever one struggles, someone would be their to help them out. good point.
ron said if you are stingy with giving money away, then you are probably the same way when it comes to giving things to God. bah....so true. it starts even before we get to MI church for the week.

we were at hazelwood CC this week, out in the country. it was a good change of pace. it was quiet, went on a couple morning runs...at 5:30. we had some amazing groups, and it was so great getting to know all the kids. it's so sad by the end of the week when we all have to leave.

favorite speaker: tuesday night. of course, on accepting others. he had this pieace of cardboard that a homeless man was carrying that said, 'i love Jesus as much as the person i love the least.' that was a huge smack in the face....i really do not love Jesus. when you stop and think, this quote is so true. matthew 25:41. one of my favorite verses and one that is often quoted, but is it really put into practice, do we really love 'the least of these?' and what does love look like?? we sang a song with AMAZING lyrics...

[[God of Justice, Saviour to all/ Came to rescue the weak and the poor/ Chose to serve and not be served/ Jesus, You have called us/ Freely we've received/ Now freely we will give/ We must go live to feed the hungry/ Stand beside the broken/ We must go/ Stepping forward keep us from just singing/ Move us into action/ We must go/ To act justly everyday/ Loving mercy in everyway/ Walking humbly before You God/ You have shown us, what You require/ Freely we've received/ Now freely we will give/ Fill us up and send us out/ Fill us up and send us Lord]]

oh. great lyrics. the keep us from just singing, move us into action...mmmm. knowledge devoid of action is useless. this is what i am learning even more this summer. to be intentional and to do something. alot of the interns have talked about how with the stuff we are learning, we are trying to figure out how to change when we go back home...how to change for the future. but the thing is, if we can't put what we are learning into practice now, how are we going to in the 'future.' if i can't be intentional now about accepting others and forming relationships, how will i be able to do it later? so. i have knowledge, i need to move to action.

so we did vbs at a trailer park this week. you can see the brokeness all around, but the kids. on monday we were prepping and there was 2 kids playing on the playground right by our vbs tent. i went over and met them, cassidy and eddie. the ended up haning out with us for the day and got to go through the vbs lesson before any of the other kids...a vip pass if you will. our 50-75 expected kids turned into 25 at most. low numbers has it's ups and downs, but the kids were great. and my inters, elizabeth and megan were fantastic, as well as our group from Grayson, KY! on wednesday, 2 of the sponsers we talking to a mom who had brought her kids to vbs all week. marcus comes up to me and tells me that she wants to be baptized...now. ahhh! so cool. we ended up working it all out and she got baptized at someone's pool tuesday. she said she had been at her lowest point, and being at vbs all week had put her on cloud nine and she had been wanting to be baptized for a long time. a few kids went with her and it seemed that they just got baptized to just get in the pool...but that is for another blog. it just reminded me of this quote Ron says from chip ingram that goes something like, 'the real you, meeting real needs, in the right way, for the right reasons.'

God is teaching all kinds of things and i wish i could write them all down. it's like the song, 'whatever you're doing inside of me/ it feels like chaos somehow there's peace/and it's hard to surrender to what i can't see/ but i'm giving into something heavenly...time to release all my held back tears...it feels like chaos but now i can see/ this is something bigger than me/ larger than life something heavenly.'
i'm all about the songs tonight. i love music and how i can always find a song that puts my thoughts into words. :]

it was a great week. i miss it already and its only been a day. i'm getting tired. i relaxed my hair today, no more curls for a while. i have the day off tomorrow to hang out with the fam and eat pancakes for breakfast! :]

looking forward to this prep week and getting SO EXCITED for next mission indy week.
more to come...

Sorry...

i do have a lot of crazyness going on in my head right now...and alot of questions and things to think about, but i thought i'd write a fun post.

i went for a long run tonight by myself on the canal and it was wonderful. i went to a human trafficking workshop tonight and it was awesome to hear one lady's story and to see how God puts you in places for specific reasons...
i made some new beads today using water color paper. they came out cool. :]
and i just won a game of SORRY. my host kids john, libby, rachel and i all played and i told them that even though i was losing horribly i would come back and win...i drew and 11 and took the game!

tomorrow. i will be swimming!!!! and finally eating a meal with my host family. there are alot of good things amongst the crazyness. :]

you know you are a servant, when you are treated like one....

so. the first week of mission indy has come to a close. it was fantatic, challenging, tiring, and so fun! :] [[we made it through one week! ]]

i never expected for God to open my eyes to so many things...or teach me so many things.

i am realizing that the person i think i am, is not who i am at all. i led the devotional on accepting others this week and as i was preparing, i felt so inadequate, because i don't accept people. i think i do, i act like i do, i tell other people how important it is, but there are so many times that i just judge people, and don't accept them. i have allowed myself to become too prideful, to think that i have everything together, and i don't. and it is HARD to realize that...because we want to be perfect, we want to have 'everything together,' we don't want to seem weak. we want to be self-sufficient. but oh, how we need Jesus. I need Him desperately. i know i couldn't have done this week without Him and i can't process all i'm learning without Him.

the youth pastor of the group i was working with for VBS said in their debriefing time...are you a lion tamer, or a lion chaser? do you tame or chase? so i thought about it, do i actively look for opportunities, am i intentional (i talk ALOT about how important it is to be intentional, but do i actually do it?), or do i just sit around and wait for things to come? i was talking with another intern this week about what we were learning (God is ruining all of our lives by the way :] )and how we get information and think about how we can use it in the future...once MI is over, how will i change at school? then she said, why am i not doing it here? because if i can't take what i learned today, and apply it today, then how will i be able to apply it tomorrow, or in the future. i need to stop making excuses for why i'm not being intentional, and just do it. i need to accept my neighbor, love others, serve others...now.

during that same debriefing time, the youth pastor's wife shared what she had been thinking about in regards to worship-singing time. she wondered if Jesus was in the room as we are singing our songs, would we be standing still, arms at our sides? interesting to think about...which leads to my next thought.

why do we do what we do? why do we serve? i know i mentioned it in a previous post...but seriously, why? who am i trying to please? is God in everything i do, everything i think, every action, every thought?

then thursday came. and a former MI intern spoke. 'you know you are a servant, when you are treated like one.' what? i like this quote so much, but someone brought up the point, what if i am never treated like a servant. she spoke sharing and asked what holds us back from sharing with one another...pride and fear. it comes back to being intentional... and transparent. in urban, cook talked about 'white polite' and in the class and even in our discussions with the pastor at englewood (church MI is located in and church some of the host families attend) about how in the city, everything is in the open, but in suburbia, everyone hides behind a mask. there is such a dicotomy between the city and suburbia i feel like. there is hurt and pain in suburbia just like in the city, only its a different hurt and pain and it is dealt with in a very different way. what i love about the city is that people are so open and honest. people seem to genuinely care about one another. at englewood, it is clear to see the makings of what a community actually looks like. i am learning so much about community and what it means and what it looks like...and for me, i see it so much more clearly in the city, where i am at right now...i don't know if i made sense...still thinking through this...

'from brokenness to community.' it is seriously one of the best books i have ever read and i got myself a copy and i was tranferring notes from the other book to my book and i was reading as i was copying..."Jesus came to bring the good news to the poor, not those who serve the poor! ...we can only truly experience the good news, in and through our own poverty, because the kingdom of God belongs to the poor, the poor in spirit, the poor who are crying out for love..."

Jesus is preaching right to me with this quote: "it seems clear that if someone is called to live with wounded people, he or she has to discover the presence of God there --that God is present in the poverty and wounds of thier hearts. God is not just present in their capacity to heal but rather in their need to be healed. We can only truly love people who are different, we can only discover that differnece is a treasure and not a threat, if in some way our hearts are beoming enfolded in the heart of the Father, if somehwere God is putting into our brooken hearts that love that is in God's own heart for each and every human being. For God is truly in love with people, and with every individual human being."

i am learning to discover that God is present...because too many times i get wrapped up in the pain and the hurt and the brokenness and get angry at God, and i MUST remember, that He is already there working, that His heart breaks even more than mine, and to rely on Him for strength.

wah. lots to think about....

the week:

sunday. got stuff set up, met the groups, had worship, played some great games.

monday. a long day of VBS planning. beautiful weather.

tuesday. first day of VBS. we planned for 45/50 kids, expected 40-ish and got 15 on the first day, which was a little disappointing, but still fun. we had a few older girls (11-13) and a few older boys (10-12), which i was not expecting. it was cool though because, we had 2 extra interns (megan m & megan b.) helpers because we did not have enough groups or work projects to have them at a site. so megan m. asked about having a class for the older girls. what a blessing! it was so cool to see God work it out. she was so great with the girls and if God had not put her at VBS this week, those girls may not have come back after the first day. and one of the guys from the church lead a group with the older boys, and the guys from our church group helped out too. megan b. rocked it with crafts ALL week. and tracy and joe's lessons were so great!

on the worksite. we scrapped ALL day

wednesday: more VBS. and Bazbeaux Pizza and some ultimate frisbee. amazing pizza. good fun. more scrapping.

thursday: was a rough day. stressful day at VBS...and it rained all day, so we were not able to go to the worksite. so we painted the inside of the sanctuary of the church. the same off-white color it already was....

friday. great last day of VBS. had a cook-out with the church. one group went to the house we had been working on in the morning and scrapped and primed the front. so after VBS we went to help out. we got the back primed...and scrapped more. and had a good night with the church groups.

...sleeping in tomorrow. mango for breakfast....

*i have given up on trying to write less...novels will have to do. :]