so i'm sitting in my host house. in my room. after a run. with no AC. and i feel sticky. but good. :] it's been a busy week. today i was able to get most of the things for VBS and do most all of my packing. so i think they don't sell swedish fish at walmart because i looked today...and sadly no fish....i went running tonight. on Sunday i was all over it and ran pretty much the whole 2.4 miles...but today i was struggling. which makes me quite upset, but i'm working on it.

anyways. the past two days i have been at the Care Center, which helps homeless women and women struggling with addictions. something i have been struggling with lately is the whole institution thing. what is better an institution or association?

the women get up at 6:00am and their day goes until 8:00pm...they have class and chores all day, and have to attend a mandatory 2 hour Bible study everyday... for 18-24 months. when i first got there...i was not sure at all about the whole structure thing; forcing them to go to Bible study, although they know they have to do it when they sign up...but. i talked to 2 ladies yesterday who said that it is important to keep them busy all day to show them that they can have a structured day because alot don't have it otherwise.
there is a policy that if a guest is way for one night, she is not allowed back for 90 days....so say a lady come in and is in the 30 day program, once the thirty days are up, she can go to one of the other 2 shelters for women in the area before she can come back 90 days later. so she goes to another shelter for 30 days, then another for 30 days, but she still has 30 more days before she could come back to the Care Center...so she is out on the streets or something for 30days. think of all that can happen in that time.
and the ladies that come in for the addictions program. there was one lady trying to quit smoking, but she was not allowed to use patches or gum. they want the women to trust in God. now, i know that God can take the addiction away from these women, but for a women who has been an addict for years, and one that may not be a strong Christian, or a Christian at all, going cold turkey has to be incredibly hard...i'm not sure if this way works best, but at the same time, i'm not sure the right answer...

it has just given me alot to think about, especially in regards to social work and what kind of social worker i want to be, and how what i'm learning in classes is different from how i see things or think they should be. to not be discouraged by the education i'm getting...but be open to learning in different ways...if that makes sense. the more i'm down here, the more i struggle with leaning about social work from a text book and taking tests instead of more hands on/experiential learning.

i talked with a gal who graduated IWU a month or so ago and we chatted on injustice, social work, intentional communities, community development and much more and it was so great. it was a huge burst of encouragement to know that God always surrounds us with like-minded people. its hard sometimes to be passionate about issues of justice and reconciliation because i feel like alot of people either don't agree or just nod along with me without really understanding. cool God thing. and i might be living with her next May when...i'm graduated! :]

once again. i wrote a novel. seriously. and this isn't half of what is going on in my head. we have our first Mission Indy week on Sunday!!!! i am so stoked! we have all kinds of cool stuff planned and i think its going to be the bomb. tomorrow i get to cut black dots and yellow stars and laminate them for a skit. never used a laminater before so it should be quite an experience. Ron gave me an art project of creating an encouragement board. pretty excited about it...you know me and art and being crafty. :]] and a meeting about human trafficking stuff in Indy. pretty ready for that too.

so. bought some almonds today. looking forward to eating them. but they have this weird powder-y salt stuff. not sure how i feel about them....but pretty sad they don't taste better.

enough babble.
:]]

from brokenness to community by. jean vanier. what i'm reading.