o sweet apathy...

a few opening things:
God just doesn't quit. ever. He never stops ruining people's lives.

i got my hair cut this weekend...it's so short. i feel like a boy. and i complain about it.

i wish i could update this everyday because i feel like by the time i actually get around to writing...i write a novel.

i am slowly, but surely working on playing the guitar. i know a phrase in spanish...and i've been running a few times. twice this week. i am determined to play guitar, know some spanish, and run 3 miles with ease by the end of the summer. :]

tonight, although the children's museum was under alot of construction and they didn't have many cool exhibits, our team night at the museum was quite fun...and baxbeaux pizza. a-MAZING. so good. i seriously love every intern. they are some of the greatest people i have ever met and i am so privileged to be working with them this summer.

[[for my thuggies. i got the journal. many did not follow the rules. ;/ ]]
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so. this week. crazy and busy and God keeps ruining me.
monday was great because we checked out alot of different ministries and all the cool things they are doing. we did some planning...alot of planning tues/wed....today we painted all day which was great...and tomorrow is our last day of training. off to our ministries next week. and planning VBS stuff! :]

ill be honest. going into this internship, i thought i had an upper hand. i had taken papa c's urban class, read a few books, volunteered in the inner city....i thought i'd be more knowledgeable than most of the interns. what does God do?? SLAP me in my face and tell me that i know nothing. i have been challenged sooooooooooo much this week, and last. i have learned so much that i am having the hardest time even formulating it into specific thoughts to write out.

here are some things.

**everything in the city is about community and relationships. EVERYTHING.
**assest based community development (abcd): using what the community already has, and using that for development and restoration. so much different from need based community development and as a social worker...we are taught need based CD, so how to i work the two things together...or focus on ABCD? which i think is fantastic.
*individuals, associations, institutions, businesses...
**the word "client" is very demeening and puts the person in a low position. why do we use it as social workers?
**is the church an institution or association?
**why am i doing what im doing? is it because i love people...or because i love Jesus??
**why do i believe what i believe??
**social justice? what is it? something you cannot have apart from God.
**how "rich" or how "poor" are Christians called to be? how do we define the things we "need?"
***i LOVE that i am learning and being challenged...and that God is again, ruining my life. but sometimes...and i almost HATE that i think this...i wish my eyes hadn't been opened because it feels so much easier to be apathetic and pretend things don't exist, than to actually step alongside people and hurt with them and carry their burdens and fight for justice.

just a few thoughts and questions...and ideas that ministry leaders have challenged me with.

we were in session for the book today and someone said..."we keep asking, 'what do we do? what do we do?' and it seems like being rooted in Scripture is what we need to do."

we joke that we wish we could read the whole Bible in a day, so that we have all the knowledge...but if i only had time to actually do it. my amazing host family gave my like 5-6 books to read this summer and i'm a page and a half into the intro of one of the books.
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so. as not to rumble for another million paragraphs. ill end here. and hopefully write more later. im ready for a weekend. hopefully a relaxing one, with lots of reading :]